Choices and Cappuccinos

“This is the start of resurrection. Where new beginnings come from death. I’m gonna trust you with my future. Lord, I surrender to your plan.”

- Open: LO Worship

God gave humans the ability to make choices.

From small choices like what to eat for breakfast to big decisions like should I take this job, we make around 35,000 choices every day (PBS, 2021)

My life has been full of moments where I needed to make big choices.

Some of them included where to go to college for four years, what internships to take for the summer, and leaving the country for three months.

Each shared a commonality — I knew the end.

Even if the experience was tiring or difficult, I could power through, knowing how much time I had left.

My sister made me take this my sophomore year of high school. But three college visits and five applications later, I decided I DID want to be an ILLINI!

Now, I am in a place where most of my choices for what’s next don’t have a clear end. The choices mean commitment and trusting God even when I can’t see the finish line.

Waiting for direction from God can feel overwhelming.

I am historically poor at the waiting. After all, a season of wait-and-see is uncomfortable. It can create anxiety and honestly distract you from the present.

But the Bible says, “Be still in the presence of the Lord and wait patiently for Him to act.” (Psalm 37:7)

I have missed out on many opportunities to just sit with the Lord because I was worried about what would be next. In times when I was crying or complaining about something not working out, I should have been resting in God’s presence.

I now know that any closed door is God’s guidance. He gives, and He withholds. Sometimes I am looking for a clear answer. I’m asking God for open doors. But the truth is, closed doors also lead you to the path God wants for your life.

I now know that any closed door is God’s guidance. He gives, and He withholds. Thankful a closed door led me back to Colorado last summer.

Some of the most challenging closed doors led me to Siem Reap, Cambodia.

Two months. Thirty hours of language class. 1,560 total miles of travel to and from the villages, give or take. 105-degree weather. Four villages.

ONE God at the center of it all.

This experience has been one I will never forget. From $1.50 cappuccino frappes to delicious food anywhere you go, I’ve easily adjusted to life here.

Even more remarkable, I’ve witnessed the healing power of Jesus as faith continues to grow in the hearts of the Khmer people. The kids we teach English to are so adorable and so kind. I will miss them so much. God is good. 

There are things I have missed by being here — birthdays, weddings, IKEA trips and community with friends. However, I have gained so much more.

My walk with God and my dependence on him have grown. I desire to spend time with Him and be still, waiting for His guidance.

There are things I have missed by being here — birthdays, weddings, IKEA trips and community with friends. However, I have gained so much more

The truth is, God’s next step for you isn’t usually clear.

Tim Keller says, “God’s guidance is more about what He does than what He gives.”

He will provide and take away, but ultimately, we must choose. These choices may affect our daily lives, but God knows our future. The pressure of making decisions fades away when you believe that in your heart.

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also, he has put eternity into man's heart, yet so that he cannot find out what God has done from the beginning to the end.” (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

We can’t figure God out no matter how hard we try. But when you can take your plans, heartaches, joys and dreams and surrender them to the Lord, you can make wise choices for what comes next. 

As I have trusted God with my future, He has revealed so much of His character and His goodness.

I have learned in life, it’s not practical to want to know the end. You can miss out on the present when you just push toward the end.

I look forward to the future when I used to dread it. I know God has an ultimate plan and I am not big enough to mess that up.

I am still. Lord, I’m going to trust YOU with my future.

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