5 Things Adulting Has Taught Me. (So Far)
Big disclaimer here, I have only been real-life adulting since June. Therefore, I would say I am not fully qualified to be giving adulting advice. However, my hope is that these 5 things can help those who are newly adulting themselves, about to begin adulting, or those who are older and wiser but want insight into the mind of a twenty-something young adult.
1 - You’re young and that’s okay.
Chances are you are one of the youngest people at your job. Age gaps can make it hard to find community at work. It can also make it difficult to speak up or feel competent in a room of more adult adults. But trust me, they probably feel awkward too.
My suggestion, embrace the awkwardness.
Acknowledge they have experience-based knowledge that you probably don’t have. Learn from them and capitalize on opportunities to talk outside of work.
You may not ever get to the point of grabbing drinks with a large group of them on a Friday evening, but you could easily go grab lunch together. With time, you’ll get more comfortable and learn to trust the fresh perspectives you bring to your team.
2 Corinthians 12: 9 - But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
2 - You should plan fun things.
Fun looks different depending on who you are and what you like. Also, fun usually costs money. However, adding fun to your life can bring joy to the mundaneness of adulthood.
Go camping, plan a night out with friends, go ride a bike or research some weekend getaways and take a little road trip. Budget time and money for experiences that give you something to look forward to.
Proverbs 17:22 - A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.
3 - Friendships are hard.
Social media, smartphones and Snapchat are great for staying connected. However, they often cause me to feel like there is never a break.
If I am not there to talk to my friends all the time it feels like someone else will and there goes our friendship (reading this back makes me feel crazy, but I have a feeling I am not alone!).
I’m grateful for my friends being a phone call away, but it’s just not the same as seeing them every day.
The beginning of the post-college and high school era of your adult life marks a time when your friends aren’t just there.
Let me tell you, it sucks. Being intentional with your time in an increasingly unintentional world is a struggle. Whether you’re away or back home with them it just feels different.
Remember that it’s hard for you AND your friends. If they don’t text you back or they miss a time to call, they don’t hate you and they are not phasing you out. They are probably just as overwhelmed as you.
Give each other grace. Set times to call and remember that a lack of constant communication is okay. Your good friends know you are there for them if they need it and vice versa. Find times to meet friends if you have some that still live close and don’t be afraid to schedule times to talk to your friends that live far away.
Friendships and intentionality are hard but necessary. Call your best friend today okay?
Ecclesiastes 4:12 - Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.
4 - Keeping up with your faith can be a challenge.
This is a big one. Church shopping is overwhelming, my brain is too tired to spend time with Jesus, and turning my brain off by watching the office for the 100th time is way easier than sitting down to read my bible. These are all excuses that have threatened to make my faith life stagnant or lukewarm. Ultimately, I discovered I was afraid of where God would take me if I spent time with him. I was afraid to leave my comfort zone or give up the things I cherish. Luckily, I am beginning to work through this selfish conviction. As I start to rebuild my relationship with the Lord I am reminded that any comfort or happiness I experience in the things of this world fails in comparison to the joy I find in Jesus. Without Him, there is no eternal hope or rescue. So yes, faith is hard, but it’s also necessary. So find people who can encourage you through it. Pray big prayers even if they scare you.
Matthew 19:16-30 - I am not going to put this all here because it is a long passage, but take a minute to click on the verse and read the whole passage. It is a reminder that our wealth on this earth is not what saves us, Jesus is.
Hebrews 11:6 - And without faith, it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.
5 - Call your mom AND your dad.
Just because you are an independent adult living on your own doesn’t mean you no longer need a parent or parental figure in your life. These people still care about you, want to hear from you, and probably wish they could give you a hug too. Like friendships, navigating your relationship with your parents as an adult looks different too. You no longer see them every day or rely on them for as much. Independence has always been something I have strived for, but I firmly believe a girl never stops needing her parents. Whether it’s just a phone call to say hello or something more, don’t stop. My flip phone dad literally bought an iPhone and got a Facebook on the same day so he could talk to me in Cambodia. So I know I have no excuse not to reach out. After all, they raised me and they love me. They have celebrated my great victories and big failures that cut deep. I know they will continue to celebrate my wins and my losses. So, don’t worry Mom and Dad. You haven’t gotten rid of me yet.
*** I know not everyone has a relationship like I do with my parents. But chances are you have someone in your life who has always been there for you as you grew up and became the adult you are today. Call them today too.
Ephesians 6:2-4 - "Honor your father and mother"-which is the first commandment with a promise- "so that it may go well with you and that you may enjoy long life on the earth."
Remember, we are all learning as we go. Never stop growing, gaining wisdom, and trying new experiences that scare you.
I wanted to write up 10 things adulting has taught me but it would have been an even longer read. Here are my other 5 honorable mentions that didn’t make the editing cut. Maybe I’ll do a part two?
Grocery stores are overwhelming.
Just because you can be alone does not mean you should.
Confidence takes time.
Everyone doesn’t hate you.
Buying coffee (or chai lattes) every day is not sustainable.
